Surviving the early months with twins was a bit of a struggle. Not to panic anyone reading this who just found out they have twins on the way. haha. You have 2 babies constantly demanding your attention, and while you work tirelessly to make sure everyone is fed, clothed, and semi-clean you also have yourself, a partner, and maybe a job you have to keep afloat. Some people have around the clock care when their twins are born (awesome! yay! good for you!), but many of us keep things going as a 2 man show. Here are my tips for newborn twins!
Taking Shifts
The first few weeks we got up together, (most of the time) in the night. I would essentially kick and shake my hubby awake to help change a diaper and help me get set up nursing. Once I started to get more comfortable with managing them both on my own, We started shift work, which was a lifesaver. My husband would sleep in the guest room from 10pm-4am, and the babies slept in our room with me. Any wake ups during that time were my responsibility, but from 4am on was his. I would tag him out in the guest room, at 4 and he would take over while I went to sleep there from 4 until he left for work at 7, which was the most blissful sleep of the night. Obviously 6 vs 3 hours is drastically different (somehow moms seem to handle sleep deprivation better), but having just a small chunk of uninterrupted sleep time was amazing.
Home “Date Nights” after the kids are in bed
Putting on real clothes, getting grandma over to babysit, staying awake past 8:30pm, those were things not really on our agenda in the beginning. Instead we had “at-home dates”. After putting the kids to bed, we would cook dinner, hang out, sit on the deck outside & enjoy the quiet with a beer or glass of wine. Basically a little slice of time together without leaving the house so we could feel somewhat connected.
Schedule vs. No Schedule
The biggest advice I had from twin moms prior to their arrival was “Get them on a schedule ASAP!!” I am a planner, and I like the predictability of a schedule, so I was all over it. I worked so hard to build a constant schedule for us. In the beginning, it meant getting into a routine of Eat, Play, Sleep
Seeing the Sunshine
For me, the sun is an instant mood lifter. On nice days, I strapped those kiddos into a stroller and we hit the streets. In the early days, we used our double snap n go, and eventually progressed to my favorite jogging stroller ever
Getting Out of the House
The fear of managing two infants at once in public, definitely kept me home at times (and still does sometimes with twin toddlers). I tried my best to force myself to do it in places close to home or where I knew I could get help if needed. The more I “practiced,” I knew it would feel easier. With some encouragement, I made it a point to head to a regular baby “playgroup” to get out of the house and connect with other new moms, where the playgroup leader would help me if I needed it to manage 2 babies. I would pack us up and head to Bed, Bath, and Beyond pushing the stroller with one hand and pulling the cart behind me with the other. The important part I learned was the timing, to try and time it perfectly between feedings, and to keep the outings extremely short. It made me almost feel normal to be able to get out of the house, although it didn’t always happen often.
Having a little “Me” Time
Me time seemed almost non-exhistant in the beginning. In the early days I didn’t even want it! I would cry just to leave them to run to the store (thanks hormones!). Once that calmed down, I tried to sneak in a little time for myself. A pedicure, dinner with a friend, binge-watching Netflix. Some times it was a nap, which on the rare occasion that happened was amazing. The point is, you are overworked as a mom x 2 when you are taking care of twins. Make sure to schedule yourself in a little downtime so you don’t go crazy. Shower every day, put on clean leggings, sit outside in the sun. If you got them on the same napping schedule, then you will have chunks of time where both babies are sleeping (hopefully) so you can use this time for a little self-care.
Reconnecting with friends & Family
This can be difficult, because most friends and family have written you off as too busy to do anything. You’ll feel like a total zombie the first few months anyways, so likely you won’t be interested in dinner & drinks out at night when you know you have a 12am, 2am & 5am wakeup call x 2 ahead of you. I found that regular texting was a lifesaver because I could respond when it was convenient. Eventually, our best friends would come over for an early dinner at our house while the babies slept, which kept us from needed a sitter, and me from having to change out of my leggings and sloppy sweatshirt. Finding the right mom friends is a total lifesaver!
The truth is, you will feel like a zombie for at least 3 months. Surviving the early months with twins will turn you into a supermom with special skills like easily picking up 2 infants at once, functioning on 3 hours of sleep, and the ability to change a million dirty diapers a day (kudos to you triplet and more moms)! You will figure out what works for you, gain more sanity, and realize that sometimes someone has to cry while you take care of someone else. You will realize you are an amazing mom, who is dealing with the difficult newborn stage x 2 and you are crushing it, even though most days it doesn’t feel that way. Hang in there, you got this!
Need a little encouragement? Check out a few things you can cut yourself a break on and let go! Then, jump over to follow me on instagram to see you aren’t alone or send me a message, and let’s chat!
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